A couple of days ago, I became aware of a very opinionated blog post by a hearty Clinton supporter, one Courtney Enlow, whom I had never heard of before. Although we disagree regarding just about everything political, we’re certainly kindred spirit sisters given that we’re loud-mouthed feminists, unequivocal, and (FSM help us all!) unapologetic in our thoughts and feelings.
I can SO relate.
I read Ms. Enlow’s masterful essay several times and decided, as is my way, to contradict her directly, here and now.
In her piece, which is entitled “An All-Caps Explosion of Feelings Regarding the Liberal Backlash Against Hillary Clinton”, Courtney certainly gives her take on the matter. Ms. Enlow’s first paragraph basically states that Bernie can say and do shit that Hillary can never say or do, strictly because she’s a woman. I disagree with this, but I’ll give Courtney the home-court advantage, since we’re both women and since we both know how the stupid political game is played.
After that, however, Enlow goes ALL CAPS! for the very long remainder of her essay. I’m only going to highlight a few paragraphs here, because I am also going to refute said essay in all caps myself, just to piss everyone off. My entire all caps defense comes directly from Ms. Enlow’s offense, which I encourage Kossacks to read in full:
FIRST AND FUCKING FOREMOST, COOL, YOU LIKE BERNIE'S WISHES AND DREAMS APPROACH TO POLITICS. "FREE COLLEGE FOR EVERYONE AND A GODDAMN PONY." YES, THAT SOUNDS FUCKING WONDERFUL BUT DO YOU THINK HILLARY COULD EVEN SAY THOSE WORDS WITHOUT FOX NEWS LITERALLY BURYING HER ALIVE IN TAMPONS AND CRUCIFIXES?
YOU DON'T LIKE THAT SHE HAD CERTAIN NOW-UNACCEPTABLE POLICIES BACK IN THE '90S? HEY, I GET THAT THAT SHIT SEEMS LIKE LAST WEEK, BUT IT WAS ANOTHER GODDAMN WORLD ENTIRELY. I GET THAT WE ALL THINK WE'RE THE UNIVERSE'S BESTEST HUMANS BUT MOST OF THIS COUNTRY JUST LEARNED TRANS PEOPLE EXIST, LIKE, YESTERDAY. LET'S NOT PRETEND WE'VE ALL BEEN THE MOST INCLUSIVE PROGRESSIVE SUPER-COOL PEEPS FOR LIKE A THOUSAND YEARS NOW. PROGRESSIVE MEANS JUST THAT--PROGRESS. SHIT THAT WAS A BIG GODDAMN DEAL AT THE TIME IS NOT COOL NOW. PROGRESS. IT'S FUCKING SWELL.
YOU DON'T LIKE THAT SHE PLAYS THE GAME? THAT SHE HAS TIES TO THE ESTABLISHMENT? FOR ONE THING, THAT'S HOW SHIT FUCKING GETS DONE. FOR THE OTHER THING, THE BIGGEST THING, A WOMAN DOESN'T GET THE FUCKING OPTION *NOT* TO PLAY THE GAME. NOT NOW. NOT YET. WE ALL WISH THINGS WERE DIFFERENT BUT THEY DON'T BECOME DIFFERENT WHILE WE'RE ATTACKING THE FUCKING PERSON WHO CAN MAKE THAT POSSIBLE.
Yeah, OK. Those quotes sincerely pissed me right the fuck off, so here we go:
I DON’T KNOW ANY SANDERS SUPPORTER WHO IS IN COMPLETE LOVE WITH PONIES AND UNICORNS AND RAINBOWS AND LEPRECHAUNS WHO SPEW MAGIC PIXIE DUST DIRECTLY INTO OUR MOUTHS, COURTNEY! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? AND, SERIOUSLY, WHO FUCKING CARES IF FOX NEWS EVISCERATES HILLARY CLINTON? DEMOCRATS CERTAINLY DON’T!
UP UNTIL 2013, SECRETARY CLINTON WAS VERY MUCH AGAINST GAY MARRIAGE, SO SAY WHAT YOU WANT ABOUT HOW HER “1990s” ATTITUDE WAS WHAT DROVE MANY OF THE LGBTQ COMMUNITY INTO NOT SUPPORTING HER, WHILE SHE LIED ABOUT HER SPEECHES AND HER RECORD, BUT WHATEVER. YOUR DUMBASS CALL. AS A BISEXUAL FEMALE, YOU SHOULD REALLY SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LET THE GAY COMMUNITY TELL YOU HOW THEY REALLY FEEL ABOUT HILLARY CLINTON.
PERHAPS YOU ARE TOO YOUNG TO REMEMBER THIS, BUT MANY REGISTERED DEMOCRATS HAVE VOTED FOR *DECADES* TO “KEEP THEIR POWDER DRY”. THAT IS, WE WERE TOLD TO VOTE FOR THE NEOLIBERAL DEMOCRATIC ASSHOLE ON THE BALLOT FOR PRESIDENT BECAUSE IT WOULD ENSURE THAT NO REPUBLICAN DICKHEAD COULD ASSUME THE OFFICE AND WRECK AMERICAN LIFE AND THE AMERICAN ECONOMY. PERSONALLY, I HAVE BEEN “HOLDING MY NOSE” WHILE VOTING FOR A DEMOCRAT FOR AN ASTOUNDING 28 YEARS. THAT IS A LONG FUCKING TIME FOR A MILLENNIAL CHICK TO TELL HER SENIORS HOW TO FEEL AND HOW TO VOTE!
YOU HAVE NO GODDAMNED IDEA WHAT YOUR ELDERS HAVE BEEN THROUGH, AND YOU SHOULDN’T ASSUME THAT YOU KNOW OR EVEN UNDERSTAND!!
PERSONALLY, I DON’T GIVE A CRAP THAT YOU “LIKE” HILLARY CLINTON. WHO CARES? I LIKE LOTS AND LOTS AND PEOPLE, AND MANY OF THEM SHOULD NEVER BE ELECTED PRESIDENT, INCLUDING MY EX-PARTNER AND MY SISTER AND THIS DUDE I JUST MET ONLINE. IF YOU FEEL THE NEED TO DEFEND HILLARY CLINTON, YOU MAY WANT TO REMEMBER THAT SHE ISN’T YOUR SISTER, YOUR MOM, YOUR FRIEND, YOUR AUNT, OR ANYONE YOU KNOW. BERNIE SUPPORTERS BARE EXACTLY ZERO RESPONSIBILITY BECAUSE YOU IDENTIFY WITH SECRETARY CLINTON. IT’S NOT OUR PROBLEM THAT YOU ARE ENAMORED WITH HILLARY CLINTON IN A WAY THAT DOESN’T REALLY MAKE SENSE TO MANY OF US.
HILLARY DOESN’T WANT TO PUSH THE BOUNDARY LINES OF WHAT’S ACCEPTABLE FOR FEMALE POLITICIANS AND WHAT ISN’T, AND THAT’S FINE WITH ME. I SINCERELY, 100% DO NOT GIVE A FUCK. BUT DO NOT BLAME SANDERS SUPPORTERS FOR HILLARY’S LACK OF COURAGE; IT’S NOT OUR FAULT AND, IF SECRETARY CLINTON WERE SO INCLINED, I TRULY BELIEVE SHE COULD ROCK THIS SHIT FOR WOMEN, PEOPLE OF COLOR, AND THE GAY COMMUNITY. THAT HILLARY REFUSES TO DO THIS SPEAKS MORE TO HER LACK OF BRAVERY THAN IT DOES TO SENATOR SANDERS, WHO HAS BEEN SPEAKING ABOUT ALL THIS GOVERNMENTAL INJUSTICE FOR YEARS AND YEARS NOW.
IN SHORT, WHAT MANY FEMINISTS SEE IN BERNIE SANDERS CANDIDACY IS SIMPLE: THE MAN IS A MENSCH! HE WANTS TO HELP OTHER PEOPLE, ALL PEOPLE, ALL THE TIME! SANDERS ABHORS WALL STREET AND THE WEALTHY AMERICANS WHO PREY UPON POOR AMERICANS BY REGISTERING THEIR CORPORATIONS IN THE CAYMAN ISLANDS. BERNIE IS A STAUNCH FEMINIST, WHO HAS BEEN GIVEN AN 100% RATING RECENTLY BY PLANNED PARENTHOOD. SENATOR SANDERS IS A FIRM BELIEVER IN LEVELING THE PLAYING FIELD FOR PEOPLE OF COLOR; HE WANTS THEM TO BE PAID AS MUCH AS WHITE PEOPLE, HE WANTS MINORITY UNEMPLOYMENT TO SIGNIFICANTLY DECREASE, AND HE WANTS THE CRIMINAL JUSTICE SYSTEM TO CHANGE SO IT DOESN’T DISPROPORTIONATELY IMPRISON MINORITY PEOPLE.
YOUR ALL-CAPS SUPPORT OF HILLARY CLINTON (BY MEANWHILE DISSING BERNIE SANDERS) IS COMPLETE BULLSHIT, COURTNEY. I DON’T GIVE A CRAP ABOUT YOUR PERSONAL EXPERIENCES, BECAUSE THAT VIEWPOINT SIMPLY DOES NOT CHANGE SECRETARY CLINTON’S AND SENATOR SANDERS’ VIEWPOINTS.
AS A MIDDLE-AGED WOMAN SUPPORTING SENATOR SANDERS WITH ALL MY HEART AND SOUL, I REALLY HAVE TO ASK: IS THERE ANYTHING OTHER THAN CLINTON’S CULT OF PERSONALITY THAT YOU’RE INTO?! I VOTED FOR BARACK OBAMA IN ‘08 AND ‘12 BECAUSE I THOUGHT HE WAS THE BEST GUY FOR THE JOB. THE FACT THAT HE’S A BLACK MAN WAS JUST ICING ON THE CAKE, NOT THE DISTINCT SELLING POINT, GODDAMNIT!
STOP MUDDYING THE WATERS. I DISLIKE HILLARY CLINTON BECAUSE SHE IS FUCKING OWNED BY WALL STREET, PERIOD, END OF STORY. I DON’T DISLIKE HER BECAUSE SHE’S A WOMAN.
ASK SENATOR ELIZABETH WARREN HOW MUCH THE DEMOCRATIC WING OF THE DEMOCRATIC PARTY ADORES HER, ENLOW. ASK SENATOR WARREN HOW MANY MONTHS WE BADGERED HER INTO CHALLENGING SECRETARY CLINTON FOR THE DEMOCRATIC NOMINATION IN 2016.
SO YOU CAN SUCK IT. I’M SICK AND FUCKING TIRED OF OTHER WOMEN TELLING ME THAT I’M NOT A FEMINIST, THAT I’M NOT A PROGRESSIVE, AND THAT I’M A GODDAMNED SEXIST FOR SUPPORTING SENATOR BERNIE SANDERS!
LIE LIE LIE LIE LIE!!!!!
/rant off.