Space shuttle engineer who carried guilt of explosion 30 years finds relief via NPR public outpour

This past month, Howard Berkes with NPR reported on the 30th anniversary of the 1986 Space Shuttle Challenger tragedy that took the lives of seven astronauts. In his piece, Berkes talked with 89-year-old Bob Ebeling who worked as an engineer on the shuttle mission. 

On Jan. 27, 1986, the former engineer for shuttle contractor Morton Thiokol had joined four colleagues in trying to keep Challenger grounded. They argued for hours that the launch the next morning would be the coldest ever. Freezing temperatures, their data showed, stiffened rubber O-rings that keep burning rocket fuel from leaking out of the joints in the shuttle's boosters. But NASA officials rejected that data, and Thiokol executives overruled Ebeling and the other engineers.

"It's going to blow up," a distraught and defeated Ebeling told his wife, Darlene, when he arrived home that night

The Space vehicle burst into flames 73 seconds after liftoff. Here is footage of the explosion that was seen around the world.

Bob Ebeling carried guilt from of the disaster on his shoulders for 30 years. In January, he told NPR:

"That was one of the mistakes God made. He shouldn't have picked me for that job. But next time I talk to him, I'm gonna ask him, 'Why me? You picked a loser.' "

After reading and hearing the story on NPR, hundreds wrote/emailed Ebeling expressing compassion. Feeling more than normal empathy, some engineers also responded, with one saying it was heartbreaking to hear Ebeling take on so much undeserved blame. 

Ebeling's daughter, Kathy, read all the letters and emails to her father whose eyesight and health are failing, and who gets by in a wheelchair. In a public statement, Kathy Ebeling thanked the the public for their kindness and said her father is finally letting go of the guilt after all these years. “It’s a miracle,” she says. 

Allen McDonald, 78, who was Ebeling’s boss at the time of the tragedy also called Ebeling and said that his definition of a loser was someone who didn’t take any action or care. McDonald told Ebeling, “You did something and you really cared. That's the definition of a winner."

NASA’s Press Secretary Stephanie L. Schierholz also made a statement in response to Ebeling, in honor of those who gave their lives. Here is an excerpt:

“We honor them not through bearing the burden of their loss but by constantly reminding each other to remain vigilant and to listen to those like Mr. Ebeling who have the courage to speak up, so that our astronauts can safely carry out their missions.” Schierholz  adds, “Today NASA not only has the Office of Safety and Mission Assurance but also has independent advisory boards to help ensure we minimize what spaceflight risks we can.“

When NPR asked Bob Ebeling what he might like to say to all the people who have written him, Ebeling replied:

"Thank you," he said. "You helped bring my worrisome mind to ease.”

Listen to an NPR audio of the Bob Ebeling story below, or can read the full story on NPR.com.