Connect! Unite! Act! San Francisco, Portland, OR & NN16 C&J Events: Word Usage Fun?

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Read the following three paragraphs, and find as many misused words and phrases as you can. If you’re an English teacher, print this diary, grab your red marking pen, and get to work.

The other day, as I used a wench to pull my truck out of the mud, I thought about all the ways that people use and misuse the English language. Well, I hooked that wench to a power poll, wiped the condescension from my windows, and got on down the road. I passed many beautiful tracks of land, some with rice patties, others with steep cliffs. There were fences with high tinsel wire to reign in the horses. It was a fine day for siteseeing.

Some folks were on peddle-powered devices, but for all intensive purposes they were going nowhere in the strong wind. I’m not one to sew the seeds of doubt, but it was shear stupidity for them to be out there.

When I arrived home, the kids were playing pin the tale on the donkey. The old lady was upset because we were late for a meeting with the tittle attorney. Bare with me, I said. I could have slowly starved to death in the dessert, but I made it out okay. She stood there like she was ready to throw a cold pale of water on my head. I’m not one to tow the line, and I’m certainly not one to be cow-towing to authority, but everything I said was a mute point. I was speachless. Sometimes your ass gets caught in a vice, and there’s no way out.

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In our digital era, nearly everybody has access to a spell-checker. Misspelled words are far more scarce than they once were. Wrongly used words, however, are everywhere. I have been collecting examples for a year or so. Many came from the esteemed pages of Daily Kos, and many more from all across The Internets. A few examples came from conversations or from newspapers.

I sometimes claim to be a charter member of the Spelling, Grammar, and Apostrophe Police. Some of the more egregious assaults on the English language make me cringe. However, I am not one to derail a diary by posting an unkind comment. I believe that a private kosmail to the offender is far more diplomatic than a public airing of grievances.

Posted below are the three paragraphs again. This time the errors are in italics. How many did you find?

The other day, as I used a wench to pull my truck out of the mud, I thought about all the ways that people use and misuse the English language. Well, I hooked that wench to a power poll, wiped the condescension from my windows, and got on down the road. I passed many beautiful tracks of land, some with rice patties, others with steep cliffs. There were fences with high tinsel wire to reign in the horses. It was a fine day for siteseeing.

Some folks were on peddle-powered devices, but for all intensive purposes they were going nowhere in the strong wind. I’m not one to sew the seeds of doubt, but it was shear stupidity for them to be out there.

When I arrived home, the kids were playing pin the tale on the donkey. The old lady was upset because we were late for a meeting with the tittle attorney. Bare with me, I said. I could have slowly starved to death in the dessert, but I made it out okay. She stood there like she was ready to throw a cold pale of water on my head. I’m not one to tow the line, and I’m certainly not one to be cow-towing to authority, but everything I said was a mute point. I was speachless. Sometimes your ass gets caught in a vice, and there’s no way out.

Okay, it’s your turn. If you have any favorite examples to share, bring ‘em out! And as always, this is an open thread. Changing the subject is permitted. There will be no pop quizzes or spelling tests.