is the title of a piece distributed several days ago by the Washington Post News Service. I have not found it at the Post website and do not remember encountering any references to it in the past few days. I saw a Facebook post which referenced this version in the Salt Lake Tribune, which went up on June 14. I think it is worth sharing now so more people are aware of it.
Here’s the opening paragraph, which will give you a very good sense of the direction Keilor is taking:
It is the most famous ducktail in America today, the hairdo of wayward youth of a bygone era, and it's astonishing to imagine it under the spotlight in Cleveland, being cheered by Republican dignitaries. The class hood, the bully and braggart, the guy revving his pink Chevy to make the pipes rumble, presiding over the student council. This is the C-minus guy who sat behind you in history and poked you with his pencil and smirked when you asked him to stop. That smirk is now on every front page in America. It is not what anybody — left, right, or center — looks for in a president. There's no philosophy here, just an attitude.
He continues with the ducktail reference, after noting how Trump reacted after Orlando:
Anyone else would have expressed sorrow. The gentleman expressed what was in his heart, which was personal pride.
We had a dozen or so ducktails in my high school class and they were all about looks. In the natural course of things, they struggled after graduation, some tried law enforcement for the prestige of it, others became barflies. If they were drafted, the Army got them shaped up in a month or two. Eventually, they all calmed down, got hitched up to a mortgage, worried about their blood pressure, lost the chippiness, let their hair down. But if your dad was rich and if he was born before you were, then the ducktail could inherit enough wealth to be practically impervious to public opinion. This has happened in New York City. A man who could never be elected city comptroller is running for president.
He says further of Trump:
The bigot and braggart they see today is the same man that New Yorkers have been observing for 40 years. A man obsessed with marble walls and gold-plated doorknobs, who has the sensibility of a giant sea tortoise.
Except I think that is as unfair to sea tortoises as calling Trump an asshole would me demeaning to an orifice that at least serves a useful purpose.
And then there is his summation:
So the country is put to a historic test. If the man is not defeated, then we are not the country we imagine we are. All of the trillions spent on education was a waste. The churches should close up shop. The nation that elects this man president is not a civilized society. The gentleman is not airing out his fingernail polish, he is not showing off his wedding ring; he is making an obscene gesture. Ignore it at your peril.
I would not have expected Keillor to be supportive of Trump. I am glad that he used his terrific rhetorical skills in crafting this piece, which I why I wanted to be sure more people saw kt.
