The other day, I had lunch with an old friend. We had not seen each other in quite some time, due to family, work, and life obligations. We spent a great deal of time catching up on ordinary things: careers, husbands, children, and a game of “Where are they now?” But, at some point, the conversation turned to politics.
We both agreed that this has been a rough primary season. We talked about the blatant racism, the things that people now feel free to say and do. We also talked about people making assumptions about your views based on the things that you happen to share. They seem to believe that if you agree on one thing, it necessarily leads to agreement on others. My friend would soon have a chance to disabuse another of that kind of thinking.
Now that both parties have a nominee, we decided, there is much work to be done. I would soon learn that my friend has already started and in an awesome way.
When it comes to politics, I may discuss my views and freely express my strong Democratic opinions with people I know or here at DailyKos. And although, I’m feeling more comfortable in my Democratic skin, I am less likely to confront strangers. In fact, I never confront people I don’t know. But on two separate occasions, my friend opposed both a friend and a stranger.
Earlier this year, my friend attended a women’s retreat, in Virginia, with other women from her, now former, church. She said that a number of times, one of the women tried to engage them in discussions about Donald Trump. This woman was a Trump supporter. My friend felt that the woman assumed since they attended the same church, they must both have the same political leanings. My friend had declined to participate in these exchanges, choosing instead to listen, but not speak. That is, until one night at dinner when this woman just would not let it go. My friend’s response: “Alright, let’s go there”. She explained that for the sake of the group she had tried to refrain from responding. She informed her fellow retreat attendee that she was not a supporter of Donald Trump, his ideas, or his “policies”. She went into great detail to explain why she had not, did not, and would not support him. When she finished she said that it wasn’t just the women at her table that were listening. She had acquired an audience of restaurant patrons. Her dinner companion sat in stunned silence.
The second occasion happened as she was flying home from a visit with family in Mississippi. She said that she was tired and was set to listen to her music and maybe take a nap. She was glad that in her row there was just herself and another woman, an empty seat in between them. Having the window seat, she thought she could adjust her pillow, lie back, and enjoy the flight. But the woman in the other seat had another idea. She kept making noises, tapping on the arm rest, generally creating a disturbance for my friend. Finally, as my friend shifted in her seat to try to find a more comfortable position, the woman inquired, “Are you awake now?”. My friend responded that she really was trying to sleep. The woman told her, “I just wanted to talk to you.” And she then began a short rant about President Obama and these last eight years. The rant was short, because at this point, so was my friend’s patience. She turned to the woman, “Alright, let’s go there”. Obviously, she thought, I need to pull out my facts. My friend is a fact-based, data driven person. And so began this woman’s political education. At one point, the woman tried to stop my friend by saying that they just had a difference of opinion. “Oh no”, my friend interrupted, “I have more facts and you wanted to talk.” The woman also felt the need to proclaim, “I’m not a racist”. But, as my friend implied, that was a bit of information that had nothing to do with the facts she was presenting. And when looking at data, that point was just noise.
By the end, the woman was flushed, but silent.
As, they prepared to leave the plane, the couple seated in the row in front of them, turned to thank my friend. And as they left the plane, my friend could not resist one last jab. So she called out to the woman, “I hope you have your facts straight now”.
I don’t know that my friend changed any hearts or minds. But I do know that sometimes, every now and then, we need to say, Alright, let’s go there.