So today I became a Republican.
Amazing.
I didn’t even know it was happening! Silly me, thinking that I was a Democrat all this time. I’m actually a Republican! Wow!
Let me explain. Today I opened my paper and saw a column written by the wonderful, mercurial, hot-and-cold Maureen Dowd.
The Republicans have their candidate: It’s Hillary.
Oh really, is that so? Hillary Clinton is the perfect GOP candidate? So she and all her supporters are now de-facto members of the Republican party. Dear me, tell me more.
The erstwhile Goldwater Girl and Goldman Sachs busker can be counted on to do the normal political things, not the abnormal haywire things. Trump’s propounding could drag us into war, plunge us into a recession and shatter Washington into a thousand tiny bits.
Leaving the slurs “Goldwater Girl” and “Goldman Sachs busker” aside, these assessments are perfectly correct. And apparently Maureen Dowd has a HUGE problem with Hillary trying to unite Republicans and Democrats in a country now cripplingly polarized to the point where a dangerously authoritarian dictator has now taken over a major American political party and will definitely “drag us into war, plunge us into a recession and shatter Washington into a thousand tiny bits.” But, you know, Hillary is just as tainted because she talks to rich people and supported Goldwater back when she wore her hair in a flip. I supported Nader when I was Hillary’s age back then. Want to condemn me?
So let’s look at all the ways in which Hillary Clinton is a gutless GOP candidate supporting the corporate establishment. Clinton is fighting climate change, resolving to one-up Obama's pro-environment policies.
Hillary Clinton has assembled a virtual army of formal and informal advisers on energy, the environment and climate change — and the names on the list indicate she fully aims to continue President Barack Obama's push to green the economy and take on global warming.
The team of nearly 100 informal advisers, who have spent the past year compiling recommendations on everything from chemical safety and Everglades restoration to nuclear power and climate finance, includes holdovers from the Obama administration such as former White House advisers Carol Browner and Heather Zichal.
Man, what a gutless, climate change denier! Yech! Totally in line with the GOP there!
Oh, and Clinton’s position on gun control?
Less than one week after the deadly shooting at the Umpqua Community College in Roseburg, Ore., Hillary Clinton on Monday unveiled a series of gun control measures she would enact as president, including renewed calls for universal background checks and a crackdown on the sale of guns on the Internet.
After rolling out her policies, the Democratic presidential candidate invited the mother of a 6-year-old boy who was killed in the December 2012 Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting to join her on stage at Manchester Community College.
“So many of the parents of these precious children who were murdered have taken the unimaginable grief that they have been burying and have tried to be the voices that we need to hear, and I want you to introduce yourself and maybe talk about what you and other parents are trying to do to get the changes that are necessary,” Clinton said, choking up.
So, more gutless kowtowing to the pro-domestic-terrorism NRA? Yup! Clinton the quintessential GOP candidate.
Oh, and the minimum wage?
Hillary Clinton surprised more than 1,200 low-wage fast food workers from around the nation on Sunday morning to tell them she backs their push for a $15 minimum wage. …
Clinton also voiced support for unions and collective bargaining while urging workers who built the “Fight For 15” movement to keep their “important” work going.
Keeping down minimum wage and the lower classes! Gutting unions! Clinton is so GOP!
And on, and on…. Hillary Clinton putting campus sexual assault front and center on her website. Clinton eradicating student debt. Clinton resolving to continue Obamacare and even putting long under-discussed issues like childhood autism in the spotlight. Not exactly red meat for a media looking for flashpoints and mudslinging, but Hillary’s talking about it anyway.
Oh, and the "Black Lives Matter" movement? And when “Mothers of the Movement” took the stage at the DNC last month?
“So many of our children gone but not forgotten,” Reed-Veal said. “I'm here with Hillary Clinton because she is a leader and a mother who will say our children's names. Hillary knows that when a young black life is cut short, it's not just a personal loss. It is a national loss. It is a loss that diminishes all of us.”
Yup. Hillary is totally a GOP, BLM-slandering clone! Yup!
Now Maureen Dowd is calling Hillary a GOP candidate because fifteen years ago Clinton voted for the Iraq war. A decision Hillary has apologized for. Hillary apologized because she is willing to look at the facts even if it means taking a blow to her ego. This is an ABSOLUTELY necessary part of being a representative of the people. Hillary listens to facts, not to her own private ideology.
And that, Maureen Dowd, is what makes Hillary Clinton a Democrat.