This story, just released by AP (Amalgamated Pundits) pool reporter Tony Snark, is presented without comment. And “fair use” rules be damned, I’m posting the whole thing!
Clinton continues to be a “user”
WASHINGTON (AP) - Hillary Clinton continues to use oxygen, inhaling large volumes of the precious substance – typically mixed with even larger volumes of nitrogen and traces of several other, rarer gasses. She has done so in the past, during her husband’s Presidency, and even while she was entrusted with the awesome responsibilities of Secretary of State, and she continues to do so today as a Presidential candidate for a major American political party. She does so repeatedly, some say as often as sixteen times a minute and, at times of stress, far more often, perhaps as often as twenty to thirty times a minute. At this rate, experts estimate, she may breathe as much as twenty-three thousand or more times a day. Every day.
One may reasonably ask, why does she do this?
Sources close to the Clinton campaign report Hillary does not pay for her usage of what heavy users call “air,” even though hospitals and patients with severe respiratory disease, many of them children, do pay substantial sums for access to life-saving oxygen. Whereas Clinton appears to acquire her “air” via unnamed, unaccountable channels, possibly associated with foreign business interests or governments hostile to the United States.
Reporters for the AP have discovered the “air” Clinton breathes may once have passed through the lungs of other people such as Hitler, or notorious serial killer John Wayne Gacy, a man who Clinton had to have known misappropriated 66% of his name from a beloved American cowboy icon.
A spokesman for the Trump campaign likens Hillary’s use of “air” to a heroin addict or methamphetamine abuser, saying, “She needs the stuff, you know? Like she couldn’t live without it. You have to ask yourself, does a person with this kind of sad, sad addiction belong anywhere near the White House?”
Former White House chief of staff Karl Rove asks, “What would happen if, during a tense negotiation with one of America’s enemies, Hillary Clinton suddenly needed a hit of this stuff? What would she do or say, what would she give away, possibly at great cost to the United States, even including giving away our precious national sovereignty to ISIS, just to get a little more of this stuff she claims she needs to stay alive?”
Newt Gingrich, who has run for president several times himself, suggests, “Could this be the source of “the cough?”
Clinton has been seen to cough in public in recent days. Is her chronic, some might even say addictive, life-long use of “air” the cause of Clinton’s widely-reported health issues?
Spokesmen for the Clinton campaign insist this is a non-issue, going so far as to say, “For God’s sake, everyone breathes!”
If this is true, if “everyone” does it, why won’t Clinton answer questions about her use of “air?” Where does she get her “air” and what does she owe to the people who supply it to her? What is she hiding from the American people?
What does she breathe and when does she breathe it?
Questions like this continue to dog her campaign, raising ever more questions about her honesty and fitness for office.
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Update:
Hey, thanks for the rec list. :)
Gosh, I walk away for three hours to do “work” and I come back to find all these recs. Cool!