Terrible news, fellow Berners! With only 50 days until Iowa, Bernie is winning by a paltry 10 points in the latest poll out of the first primary state of New Hampshire, and he’s down what I fear is an insurmountable 9 points in the latest, most credible poll out of the first caucus state of Iowa. What’s worse, only 7% of Clinton supporters say they would switch their support to Sanders if he commits to making Elizabeth Warren his running mate. I can’t for the life of me figure out how we win this thing!
Just listen to Ann Selzer, who Nate Silver calls "among the best in the business:"
"Bernie Sanders has proven to be a worthy adversary," Selzer said. "He's attracting people who, as a coalition, together, can be a force to be reckoned with, if he can turn them out. They're notoriously difficult."
Difficult! I mean sure Obama did just that, defying pundits and conventional wisdom by cruising to a win in Iowa behind a youth surge, but that was 8 whole years ago! I can’t find any such examples from 2015. And yes technically that was Hillary, but it was 2008 Hillary! Now she’s got Katy Perry! Dancing sharks!
But even if by some miracle we pull these both off, the party is over anyway, because everyone knows primary wins happen in a vacuum. If there’s one thing the American voter won’t be influenced by, it’s electability and who’s perceived to be winning. And it’s nearly 3 and 4 weeks between Iowa and Nevada and South Carolina respectively. Why, they'll forget all about Bernie’s wins by then!
So join me, fellow Berners! Abandon your principles and silly idealizations of universal health care, breaking up the big banks and a $15 minimum wage. Just close your eyes, let the soft drumbeat of war lull you to sleep and soak in that sweet, sweet Wall Street cash! Because Wall Street always wants what’s best for everyone.