I have always liked Garrison Keillor. When I lived back in the Midwest I could sometimes pick him up on the radio, and I always read his stuff when I could find it. He is no friend of Trump’s, and has not been shy about expressing it.
But today he blew the roof off. To my mind, nobody other than Elizabeth Warren can describe Trump with such sarcastic glee, and make you laugh out loud in the process. He outdid himself today in an opinion piece in The Washington Post. He raised the one question nobody has asked Trump until now, and it’s hysterical. But first he had to give Trump a taste of his own medicine, and it has to be read to be believed;
From what I’ve been told, I don’t know if it’s true, his swanky new hotel down the street from the White House is practically deserted and the employees are required to wear tourist clothing and hang around the lobby pretending to be customers and engage in light-hearted conversation and order expensive drinks which are actually Lipton’s tea on the rocks. I’ve heard this from various people.
Why can I already smell another insane tweet storm coming from Mein Furor. There is no better way in the world to twist Trump’s tail than to ridicule his buildings and business success, and even better to use his own speech manner to do it. But he saved the best for last, and I still can’t stop laughing;
The question that has never been asked is this: Why has Trump never shown his belly-button? Does he have an umbilicus or not? Why the secrecy? Could it be that he was one of those early test-tube humanoid babies bred in a Monsanto laboratory in Las Cruces in 1946 under contract to the Pentagon, which hoped to create a cadre of bogeymen who would walk straight into heavy gunfire, grinning, thumbs-up, and thereby dishearten the enemy? They had realistic skin and hair but their eyes were small and piggish and their fingers short. Mr. Trump has taken heavy fire for the past year and there isn’t a scratch on him. Lift up your shirt, sir, and let us see it.
What else can I possibly say? I can already smell an angry “cease and redact” letter coming from one of Trump’s empty air lawyers for defamation. This is why I love me some Garrison Keillor. Well done sir, well done.
Thanks as always for reading!
